Gottman Marriage Therapy
Mike DeMoss, LAC is a psychotherapist licensed in Arizona and a member and officer of the Christian Association for Psychological Studies. He attained a master of Professional Counseling Degree at Ottawa University in Phoenix. He has studied at Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary in Mill Valley, CA and is currently President of the Arizona Counselors Association (AzCA). Mike’s key focus is in use of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) as a therapy model. He has post-graduate training in the Gottman Method for marriage therapy. Mike specializes in marriage, family, individual and adolescent counseling. He uses the Gottman Method for couple’s therapy, Systems Theory for family therapy and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for adult individuals and adolescents.
Mike’s Christian background gives him a heartfelt desire to help people heal. His compassion, encouragement and enthusiasm allow him to relate to individuals in a way that helps affect positive change in their lives. He focuses on each client and their needs in a collaborative approach tailored to bring about positive results.
Mike works with issues related to marital and family dysfunction and miscommunication. He also works with individuals and adolescents facing anger issues, anxiety, depression, personality disorders, addictions and grief. For more information on the Gottman method for marriage therapy, please click this link.
1. Build Love Maps: How well do you know your partner’s inner psychological world, his or her history, worries, stresses, joys, and hopes?
2. Share Fondness and Admiration: The antidote for contempt, this level focuses on the amount of affection and respect within a relationship. (To strengthen fondness and admiration, express appreciation and respect.)
3. Turn Towards: State your needs, be aware of bids for connection and respond to (turn towards) them. The small moments of everyday life are actually the building blocks of relationship.
4. The Positive Perspective: The presence of a positive approach to problem-solving and the success of repair attempts.
5. Manage Conflict: We say “manage” conflict rather than “resolve” conflict, because relationship conflict is natural and has functional, positive aspects. Understand that there is a critical difference in handling perpetual problems and solvable problems.
6. Make Life Dreams Come True: Create an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her hopes, values, convictions and aspirations.
7. Create Shared Meaning: Understand important visions, narratives, myths, and metaphors about your relationship.
8. Trust: this is the state that occurs when a person knows that his or her partner acts and thinks to maximize that person’s best interests and benefits, not just the partner’s own interests and benefits. In other words, this means, “my partner has my back and is there for me.”
9. Commitment: This means believing (and acting on the belief) that your relationship with this person is completely your lifelong journey, for better or for worse (meaning that if it gets worse you will both work to improve it). It implies cherishing your partner’s positive qualities and nurturing gratitude by comparing the partner favorably with real or imagined others, rather than trashing the partner by magnifying negative qualities, and nurturing resentment by comparing unfavorably with real or imagined others.